i TRUST you

I doubt because I fear, is that normal? Ehe

Maybe because the feelings growing. Like, I’m really starting to like like like you.

When we were friends, you’ve been telling me how much you love her. And it was like, nothing would ever break that. And then you suddenly liked someone else.

yes, its fear, that one day, you would stop liking, stop loving. And its really frustrating just by thinking about it, what more if that would actually happen?

But I have to mean what I‘ve been telling you. I’ve been praying for this so I guess there is no more reason to doubt.


I trust you

confessions to options

There are soo many things to blog, but why is is soo hard for me to type. Right now, ive been ctrl-a-delete’ng over and over. I just don’t have the rightful words to say. (backspace, backspace, backspace)


(again I cant start this)


It’s too early but, I feel like I really like him already. This has to be oppressive. It’s so fast. Maybe because I thought, everything’s gonna be fine but why is this sitx till hard to get over? She said she’s ok with it, but I should have thought of the fact that before, how much she loved him. I mean, who would get over it that fast? Should’ve should’ve. Argh !! like now, I can imagine her thinking about it, like she’s crying and all, ah!!

I had one option, and I thought it was the only one I have until I prayed.

I cant just stop liking him, coz its not fair, and I guess that would be so hard.

And I should give her time. Helping her to forget her feelings for him is the only option. It may sound bad to other people by I wont care. I’ll only stop liking him if she asks me to do that.

She will always be my bestfriend. Always !!

jakarl = ?

I don’t blame you for anything. And again! I’m sorry, and I don’t mean what I said that night. It’s not fair I know. Well, I guess you’re right about some things, I don’t know how to . . . , and it’s true that I have to think of things that have to be prioritized. You said it yourself; you’re not sure if you still love me, so why do kept on insisting yourself? I know it sounds rude but this has to come to end.

And again, you’re saying goodbye?! And then what? Text me after a week? You know, what you’re doing isn’t really necessary, why say goodbye when we can be friends nmn? Ugh !!


All I want to say is sorry, and I want you to understand that



jakarl= friends, just friends

the LOVEly haircut

Hanelii wont like this entry hehehe

The haircut is fr now cancelled



Some1 told me, there are reasons behind the girls’ haircuts. Not just because they wanted to look good or whatever, uhmuhm

1st is, they have been experiencing or have experienced heart break/ love problems

2nd, they are soo in love



Ill go 2nd hehe. I had bangs when there was rj, i trimmed my hair when I fell for jume. And I had shorter bangs for karl.

And now, actually dapat next week. I wanted to try a new haircut (pero long parin). I’m not very girly but this one’s really something for me hahaha

Ahh, reason? Well, I like him. But there are soo much more to consider. Ugh, can’t be elaborative fr now. Next entry n lng hehe.

J lyks J, but J luvs A

What happened was never expected. I never thought he would like me, the way he’s telling me now. I never wanted to believe that, but, the feeling’s growing and I can’t help it.

I love HER soo much like my own sister. And I know she feels the same way. But the point is, some things are not meant to happen. But I won’t let her go.

Confession. . . ::

Before, uhm well, its really something “romantic”, how we met. Me and the guy. Soo uhh before, I really did like him. But the problem was, he’s too far away. I don’t know if he felt the same way, but it’s true, before I fell for someone else. He was really someone for me, though I haven’t seen him personally yet. (I just thought he was really different that’s why we got along with each other soo much). Before, its like, the day wont be complete if we won’t communicate (except for financial instances hehe). Well, that’s when I started liking him until someone gets on the way. I liked someone else and eventually he fell for someone also. So from then on, we became friends and I never imagined a day with him in a very different relationship, but just as friends.

I became soo close with his girlfriend. (Don’t ask what happened with me and the other guy hehe or guys XD). Anyway, we became soo close, as I was saying, to the point that we felt much more than friendship. It was a “sisterly” love hehe.

After me and the guy graduated (were batch mates). The guy moved to our town to study. They both had a hard time communicating, until one day; the guy broke up with my best friend. That was a very sad moment. I felt for her, I know how hurt she was with what he did. But at first I didn’t know the reason why he did that, and then he finally confessed . . . , to me. That I was the reasons of the break up.

I’m not really that type of person who gets serious about things, especially this. I mean this guy, I know him soo much, and all I know is he was just messing up with me, again. I DON’T WANT to believe what he said, but it was true, and now he’s convincing me.

And he’s not just convincing me. It felt like before, when I always anticipate when he texts me. Like before, when I’m so excited to see him. It all went back. That feeling . . . like, like, I’m starting to like him back. . .


But I can’t let this happen; I love my best friend more than I like him. If that would happen, things might not be the same. Worst things? She might think of me differently, she might hate me, she, she might leave me . . . and I don’t want that to happen


….


What should I do? Right now, all that’s in my mind is to withdraw.,


To my best friend, because I literally caused her pain but I just can’t, I love her. But the thing is, she loves me soo much, that I can’t replace. 


To this guy, 1st because he’s helping me spiritually, 2nd not just me, even my friends, 3rd because he is one of my closest friends, 4th, well, I don’t think I can do that, I may not have the strength to avoid him, her, them



For now, I know God would help me with this

I mean I don’t really take this as a major problem or whatever, but I just hope, and Pray! Things would be ok and no one would get hurt with whatever would happen.



I just thank God for giving me such friends, such good friends


I should only speak of this once; I can’t talk this over with them both. Really, im not the serious type of person hehe. I just hope this would end soon. Though I don’t really know how haha