i TRUST you

I doubt because I fear, is that normal? Ehe

Maybe because the feelings growing. Like, I’m really starting to like like like you.

When we were friends, you’ve been telling me how much you love her. And it was like, nothing would ever break that. And then you suddenly liked someone else.

yes, its fear, that one day, you would stop liking, stop loving. And its really frustrating just by thinking about it, what more if that would actually happen?

But I have to mean what I‘ve been telling you. I’ve been praying for this so I guess there is no more reason to doubt.


I trust you

confessions to options

There are soo many things to blog, but why is is soo hard for me to type. Right now, ive been ctrl-a-delete’ng over and over. I just don’t have the rightful words to say. (backspace, backspace, backspace)


(again I cant start this)


It’s too early but, I feel like I really like him already. This has to be oppressive. It’s so fast. Maybe because I thought, everything’s gonna be fine but why is this sitx till hard to get over? She said she’s ok with it, but I should have thought of the fact that before, how much she loved him. I mean, who would get over it that fast? Should’ve should’ve. Argh !! like now, I can imagine her thinking about it, like she’s crying and all, ah!!

I had one option, and I thought it was the only one I have until I prayed.

I cant just stop liking him, coz its not fair, and I guess that would be so hard.

And I should give her time. Helping her to forget her feelings for him is the only option. It may sound bad to other people by I wont care. I’ll only stop liking him if she asks me to do that.

She will always be my bestfriend. Always !!

jakarl = ?

I don’t blame you for anything. And again! I’m sorry, and I don’t mean what I said that night. It’s not fair I know. Well, I guess you’re right about some things, I don’t know how to . . . , and it’s true that I have to think of things that have to be prioritized. You said it yourself; you’re not sure if you still love me, so why do kept on insisting yourself? I know it sounds rude but this has to come to end.

And again, you’re saying goodbye?! And then what? Text me after a week? You know, what you’re doing isn’t really necessary, why say goodbye when we can be friends nmn? Ugh !!


All I want to say is sorry, and I want you to understand that



jakarl= friends, just friends

the LOVEly haircut

Hanelii wont like this entry hehehe

The haircut is fr now cancelled



Some1 told me, there are reasons behind the girls’ haircuts. Not just because they wanted to look good or whatever, uhmuhm

1st is, they have been experiencing or have experienced heart break/ love problems

2nd, they are soo in love



Ill go 2nd hehe. I had bangs when there was rj, i trimmed my hair when I fell for jume. And I had shorter bangs for karl.

And now, actually dapat next week. I wanted to try a new haircut (pero long parin). I’m not very girly but this one’s really something for me hahaha

Ahh, reason? Well, I like him. But there are soo much more to consider. Ugh, can’t be elaborative fr now. Next entry n lng hehe.

J lyks J, but J luvs A

What happened was never expected. I never thought he would like me, the way he’s telling me now. I never wanted to believe that, but, the feeling’s growing and I can’t help it.

I love HER soo much like my own sister. And I know she feels the same way. But the point is, some things are not meant to happen. But I won’t let her go.

Confession. . . ::

Before, uhm well, its really something “romantic”, how we met. Me and the guy. Soo uhh before, I really did like him. But the problem was, he’s too far away. I don’t know if he felt the same way, but it’s true, before I fell for someone else. He was really someone for me, though I haven’t seen him personally yet. (I just thought he was really different that’s why we got along with each other soo much). Before, its like, the day wont be complete if we won’t communicate (except for financial instances hehe). Well, that’s when I started liking him until someone gets on the way. I liked someone else and eventually he fell for someone also. So from then on, we became friends and I never imagined a day with him in a very different relationship, but just as friends.

I became soo close with his girlfriend. (Don’t ask what happened with me and the other guy hehe or guys XD). Anyway, we became soo close, as I was saying, to the point that we felt much more than friendship. It was a “sisterly” love hehe.

After me and the guy graduated (were batch mates). The guy moved to our town to study. They both had a hard time communicating, until one day; the guy broke up with my best friend. That was a very sad moment. I felt for her, I know how hurt she was with what he did. But at first I didn’t know the reason why he did that, and then he finally confessed . . . , to me. That I was the reasons of the break up.

I’m not really that type of person who gets serious about things, especially this. I mean this guy, I know him soo much, and all I know is he was just messing up with me, again. I DON’T WANT to believe what he said, but it was true, and now he’s convincing me.

And he’s not just convincing me. It felt like before, when I always anticipate when he texts me. Like before, when I’m so excited to see him. It all went back. That feeling . . . like, like, I’m starting to like him back. . .


But I can’t let this happen; I love my best friend more than I like him. If that would happen, things might not be the same. Worst things? She might think of me differently, she might hate me, she, she might leave me . . . and I don’t want that to happen


….


What should I do? Right now, all that’s in my mind is to withdraw.,


To my best friend, because I literally caused her pain but I just can’t, I love her. But the thing is, she loves me soo much, that I can’t replace. 


To this guy, 1st because he’s helping me spiritually, 2nd not just me, even my friends, 3rd because he is one of my closest friends, 4th, well, I don’t think I can do that, I may not have the strength to avoid him, her, them



For now, I know God would help me with this

I mean I don’t really take this as a major problem or whatever, but I just hope, and Pray! Things would be ok and no one would get hurt with whatever would happen.



I just thank God for giving me such friends, such good friends


I should only speak of this once; I can’t talk this over with them both. Really, im not the serious type of person hehe. I just hope this would end soon. Though I don’t really know how haha

help me i need Counseling :l

Its, weird, uhm uhm. Ahh! I don’t know how to start this!

Ishh. I don’t even know what to blog about, exactly. Well, its been a VERY busy week for me (its not even finish!). I just feel so. . ALONE!!

i feel so lonely. . and there are several reasons why I do.

1st., uhm, its not clear but I guess I MISS everyone !!

-my bestest best friend Nandry. I haven’t seen her since we got our year book last month., we’re in the same school nut I cant contact her

-my bff ate drii, well, we txt but not that much anymore, I miss the times we laugh, talk crazy. UGH I miss her!!

-classmates, all of them. I miss the scene when we’re all in the classroom. Kanina we had a quiz in history, grabe! It was soo clean! I was like imagining my high school class every time we cheat in our quizzes. Ugh!!!

-RJ, I bet his really busy about everything., I guess wala n xang tym para makinig sa drama ko., I’m starting to be not very open to him now, now that I know his situation. NAGAALALA DIN AKO SA H1N1! Hehe

-uhm, si Karl., I miss him but., a little different from the others. Uhm uhm. E w a n. I feel sad about him and I don’t know why. Parang may pinagsisisihan ako na hindi ko maexplain. And honestly, what I felt in the past, its almost coming back again. Im uhhh, like, uhh. I feel like I need him in some points of my life. Its weird buts it’s true. I mean, not like I need GOD or my family. It’s different. And I’m sad. . .coz maybe I feel like he gave up already., or should I say. . .nagsawa na xa. 

-studies! Kahit n my friends na ako, and I think nakakapagaral nmn ako ng mabuti, mejo bumababa parin tingin ko sa sarili ko. There’s this voice telling me that I cant do it. they said, only few accountancy students pass so a lot would just shift to another course, wasting time and money. I don’t want to quit. But I feel like im becoming waker each day. Hayyy

- CHANGING REALITIES., maybe it is true, things change, people change. I remember one time RJ said, I shouldn’t try soo much on making myself responsible like every college student is. He didn’t say the reason but now I guess I can see it. I’m starting to be soo BORING. Like, I would rather stay home and read my books than go out with the family. Like, I want to be alone at all times and think of what do to. Maybe this “being responsible” thing isn’t the best for me. I am BORED of being BORING. And I hate myself for that.



No ones ever telling me about this yet but I can feel it myself. I am changing positively and negatively. I MISS MY OLD ME. I MISS EVRYTHING ABOUT ME BEFORE


Aaaaa!!

first ay high!

weird weird weird
Well, I was, AS EXPECTED, L A T E !! in my first day in college haha. Fortunately, I arrived without the instructor yet hihi. That went well hehe
I was sited in the middle of the room with Steph and Let as my seatmates (and new friends hehe) they were nice really.

Well I cant blog about everything we did but all in all it was a good start for me (except for the fact that i still hate BIO and its my 1st subject for the week)
The instructors, look . . . fine, good, but I’m not sure if they're all nice. And I DONT expect they give high grades as my teachers in high school! hehe

soo, we finished our 1st 3 subjects. We were waiting for our FIL teacher. It was 15 mins yet she's still not there so some of us decided to go since our lunch break is just 30mins! But some did not so we waited for 15mins more. It was 12 noon already so we just went out not caring if others won’t. We looked for any place to eat outside (with my new friendS) hehehe

We came back 1pm for the next subject and then me and Let went out to meet Jakejake. We were together for our 3hrs break. we went in so many places hehe! That’s why we were late for the last subject! PE!

Guys from our block were separated from us. we arrived 30mins before the time haha! And there were certain punishment for late comers. it was to do an on-the-spot presentation. haha! Let sung and I kinda did some interpretative dance of her song! hahaha! it was soo humiliating! but they enjoyed it, same as the instructor so, it was fun, i think hehehe! soo much! for first day high!!!

R'meo and jullyET: my version CHAPTER 4

Romeo and Juliet is a romantic novel but this time, my R’meo and jullyET is all about how can friendship be as puissant as romance. What they felt was just love far a friend or more than that, as brother/sister. It was very clear for R’meo that jullyET isn’t matured enough to handle relationships. He was always there to guide her in everything. JullyET, though she is very good in hiding her feelings, she’s still weak inside. She can’t handle a thing that’s why R’meo’s always there for her. R’meo, though he’s very smart in every thing, one thing he always needed, love. He almost had the impeccable life anyone could ever want, except that his family isn’t always there. He grew up strong because of that but who would never need a family? JullyET was the only one he felt family. They needed each other, as friends, as family.

They kept everything secret. Every night, R’meo climbs up to her room to help her out with her studies and then go out, walk, talk, with his bike and their blades and roam around the subdivision. And every time people get to suspect things about them both, they always have cover-ups. JullyET dates other guys; R’meo still joins clubs and outside orgs. Everything was planned just to cover their relationship.

But it wasn’t happy ending yet, they have handled the school problems, the program wars, they thought everything was hidden, but thorns started growing in their perfect friendship. Nina, R’meo’s older sister, knew about them. R’meo loves taking pictures and he collected a lot of jullyET’s and their pictures together. Nina saw everything. She never interfered with her brother’s life, ever. But she thought jullyET and R’meo were lovers and wants to stop what they have. She thought about what would happen to jullyET if R’meo continues seeing her. She transferred R’meo to another school, hoping that would help. She also had connections with some of the ballet schools in town and gave jullyET more opportunities so she can be busy and forget about R’meo. Her plan was very successful, not knowing that R’meo and jullyET still got ways of communicating. She left town with her clear conscious that nothing will happen again.

R’meo and jullyET knew her plans but they stayed strong, not knowing it was just the start of their misery.

R'meo and jullyET: my version CHAPTER 3

They are now 3rd year high school students. Still the same, their “friendship” staying strong yet hidden. Everything was perfect until the school concert. One thing R’meo really likes besides academics is music so he decided to form a band with his classmates and joined the concert. JullyET had a band participating in the concert too. So they both competed in the battle of the bands. Everyone knew how good jullyET’s band is, that’s why everyone’s expecting them to win. But the science program had R’meo’s band which they believed would be better. And which band won? It was R’meo’s. All the students were shocked about it. Some say it was all a deal because the judges were in the science program’s side. Outside the school, his band was bragging about it knowing that the men of jullyET’s band were there. They were starting to fight. R’meo tried to get his self away from the fight but Tybalt, the lead guitarist of the band and the superior musician of the arts program, started insulting him. At first he didn’t mind at all but Tybalt started insulting R’meo’s brother, a very well known musician in the school who ended up studying in US. R’meo lost his control over his anger and fought with them. The school guards saw them and were sent to the principal’s office. Both sides were suspended.

The program wars made R’meo and jullyET set apart. JullyET’s mentor and co-artists knew about how often she meets with him. They both have no choice but to separate.

It had been months, they missed each other but they kept what they feel and started moving on. JullyET met other men in the other regions, same artists as she is. Its not official relationship or whatever but jullyET tried dating other men in favor of their mentor. On the other side, R’meo concentrated on his studies like before. He was often the school representative in many academically related contests and brought so many honors for the school.

It’s almost a year since they last talked about separating. JullyET have been so curious about things and tried it. She had past relationships since R’meo while started dating girls from other schools. It was even hard to imagine how they have known each other before.

One night, she broke up with her current “boyfriend” for he was after all a jerk. R’meo and his family just moved to a new home near jullyET’s. She was on her blades when she saw R’meo with his bike roaming around the nearest subdivision where jullyET lives. He noticed her eyes, like he never saw it in pain before. JullyET, as always tried to hide what she felt and tried to open a normal talk with him. R’meo had to ignore her but he felt something looking in her eyes. He just tried to be as friendly as he can be with her, until he had enough. He asked her what happened and why she’s in deep pain. And as expected she denied what he thought she was. But of all people, R’meo is the only one who can make her spill out what’s inside her.

They went to a mountain near the subdivision. He made jullyET shout and cry at the top of his anger. It was more than the break up. She can’t resist but open up everything to him. Since then, they trusted each other again. R’meo realized how jullyET needs him, like an older brother or something. Every time jullyET felt bad about something, R’meo has always been there until they both got used to it, like they needed each other. It was pure friendship, like what they were before.

R'meo and jullyET: my version CHAPTER 3

They are now 3rd year high school students. Still the same, their “friendship” staying strong yet hidden. Everything was perfect until the school concert. One thing R’meo really likes besides academics is music so he decided to form a band with his classmates and joined the concert. JullyET had a band participating in the concert too. So they both competed in the battle of the bands. Everyone knew how good jullyET’s band is, that’s why everyone’s expecting them to win. But the science program had R’meo’s band which they believed would be better. And which band won? It was R’meo’s. All the students were shocked about it. Some say it was all a deal because the judges were in the science program’s side. Outside the school, his band was bragging about it knowing that the men of jullyET’s band were there. They were starting to fight. R’meo tried to get his self away from the fight but Tybalt, the lead guitarist of the band and the superior musician of the arts program, started insulting him. At first he didn’t mind at all but Tybalt started insulting R’meo’s brother, a very well known musician in the school who ended up studying in US. R’meo lost his control over his anger and fought with them. The school guards saw them and were sent to the principal’s office. Both sides were suspended.

The program wars made R’meo and jullyET set apart. JullyET’s mentor and co-artists knew about how often she meets with him. They both have no choice but to separate.

It had been months, they missed each other but they kept what they feel and started moving on. JullyET met other men in the other regions, same artists as she is. Its not official relationship or whatever but jullyET tried dating other men in favor of their mentor. On the other side, R’meo concentrated on his studies like before. He was often the school representative in many academically related contests and brought so many honors for the school.

It’s almost a year since they last talked about separating. JullyET have been so curious about things and tried it. She had past relationships since R’meo while started dating girls from other schools. It was even hard to imagine how they have known each other before.

One night, she broke up with her current “boyfriend” for he was after all a jerk. R’meo and his family just moved to a new home near jullyET’s. She was on her blades when she saw R’meo with his bike roaming around the nearest subdivision where jullyET lives. He noticed her eyes, like he never saw it in pain before. JullyET, as always tried to hide what she felt and tried to open a normal talk with him. R’meo had to ignore her but he felt something looking in her eyes. He just tried to be as friendly as he can be with her, until he had enough. He asked her what happened and why she’s in deep pain. And as expected she denied what he thought she was. But of all people, R’meo is the only one who can make her spill out what’s inside her.

They went to a mountain near the subdivision. He made jullyET shout and cry at the top of his anger. It was more than the break up. She can’t resist but open up everything to him. Since then, they trusted each other again. R’meo realized how jullyET needs him, like an older brother or something. Every time jullyET felt bad about something, R’meo has always been there until they both got used to it, like they needed each other. It was pure friendship, like what they were before.

curiosity matters haha :p

I don’t know if I’m really myself right now but its bothering me so much. I am actually researching about the true meaning of Love. For the past few days, months, I’ve been thinking about it. Someone told me that Young Love doesn’t exist. But someone else is pointing out to me how real it is. It makes me so confused you know hehe. So here I tried researching about it haha. They all say, there’s no exact definition of love. You just have to feel it so you would understand yourself. But why not give it a try right? I mean I can see some meanings and try to relate with it ehe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love

Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction
. . .
As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings

That would still be hard to understand. They just used formal words to explain it.

Well I guess for now I have to stick to what I believe until I feel it. There are so much in this world that I still have to know. I’m 16 and I believe it’s too early for me to understand this.

But still, I will stay curious about what Ralph’s perspective and Karl’s feelings for me. I have always believed Ralph, but the way Karl tried to convince me, I felt something. There’s no word for it but it made me very curious about it. very much curious.

R'meo and jullyET: my version CHAPTER 2

No one ever thought that after that pageant and STEP activities, R’meo and jullyET’s friendship wouldn’t be any better. Over-night texting, weekends hangouts, what else? jullyET had always problems with all science subjects, particularly biology. She always had problems not with the subject but with herself. Every biology class, its funny but from the start, she finds it very easy until she got so bored, and until then, every biology class would be her “nap time”. In the other side, R’meo, the “all-subjects-except-Filipino geek” was the only person she needed. He helped her in everything. They made this tutorial thing as their way of connecting so people won’t be making issues about a science student and an arts student being together.

It wasn’t that long but for three months, they knew each other like no one ever did. They knew each other’s happiness, weaknesses, likes, dislikes everything! A lot also have changed. Before R’meo never knew how to laugh out loud with jokes and pranks or any other thing that’s really funny, but every time jullyET tries to do something really funny, even the simplest one, it’s like he won something he always wanted. He learned how to make people happy; he was actually good with it if only he had the chance to go wild and crazy. That was a development I should say. While jullyET on the other hand became more serious with things but she never lost that excitement and childish character she always had. It was impossible to think that they both changed each other’s life.

As they say, friendship has always been the best start for a romantic relationship. As time goes by, they just developed their selves with each other. It was really hard for them confessing. It’s really amazing how love turns someone so strong to be someone so weak. They both have a very strong personality but I guess they both have the same weakness. Friendship it was and it grew to young love, they can feel each other. It wasn’t just friendship, it was more than that. Until they started treating each other not just as friends but as couples.


They don’t hang out much inside the school, they never wanted people to talk about what they have. The school is one huge world. Very predictable but very hard to handle. This “program wars” have been there ever since it started. Yes it is possible for students with different programs being together, but these students are not honorably identified in their program.

R'meo and jullyET: my version CHAPTER 1

JullyET was the typical school sucking girl and R'meo was the school heartthrob and cutie geek of the class. She belongs to a very average family while he's family is one of the well known business group in town. In school, she belongs to the arts program while he's in the science program. They almost had the complete difference in their own worlds. It was almost impossible for them to be connected in any ways. But romantic stories always find ways to get people together.


The first scene happened in a theater production where she had the lead role. All the science classes were required to watch the play. That was the first time he noticed jullyET. From then on, he started watching performances of her group. It was quite unusual for him to be a "fan" of the performances because science students don’t interfere much with this kind of stuff. And this was never a part of his character to actually like art.

He always wanted to know her, but there were "rules" that always tells him that he's not allowed. R'meo had always focused on academics so he didn’t put much effort for knowing her.

One day, he saw jullyET with someone else, which was her "almost legal boyfriend". This guy was jullyET's best friend and fiancé. He felt a bit of jealousy so from then on, he started getting jullyET out of her mind and focused on his thing.
JullyET have a lot of friends, not just friends, even frienemies. She had a very successful career as an actress until some people envied her for that. They made people hate her, unfortunately, these people were very much convinced in some childish rumors about her grades and all. These rumors grew until a lot added into this scam. Mean words against her until a lot already hated her. Some of this rumors came to R’meo, and he started having some second impressions. jullyEt stayed strong but R’meo decided to forget all about her since it was just a simple childish act called “crush”.

A year after, came the pageant. This was a part of R’meo’s plan to get higher grades so he joined. On the other side, jullyET had to join though she never really wanted to. With R’meo’s impressions with her, he just ignored her. Not knowing, jullyET had this “crush” on him since he joined the debate club. The end of the pageant? Well, I guess fate brought them together. they both won.

That was the start of their growing closeness. As the winners, they have tasks to do and more programs to attend. jullyET is a very approachable and friendly person, but R’meo is the exact difference concidering that he had bad impressions with her. At first it was really hard for them both to be friends, but its not that hard to get people like jullyET as a friend. They were friends. Not that close but friends.

THE rejection :(

I guess this will be the worst thing that have evr happen to me. i cant type in details coz it was like 2 weeks ago. and its still stuck in my head. i cant stop thinking about it.


Since i was in elementary, i have always dreamed of UP being my college in the future. Until i turned Highschool. i've been very passionate about the theater. Since then started watching Theaterical plays. i would even watch plays than any other movie in the cinema. Tanghalan was one of thos theater companies i've been very intrested on. Its a college theater assosiation, so i started dreaming of myself ebnrolling to SLU and being a part of this theater. I didnt consult anyone to decide on what school i'll be. SLU, done! So technically the only reason why i chose SLU is because of their theater.


Me, bly and sabs audition. and guess what,








I did not PASS :(






this is indeed the worst thing that ever happened to me. I kept on telling everyone its ok nd all but, really, its not :(






hay cant continue anymore :(((








.jam jam jam :X

i woke up early as 5 am

there's no excitement at all., i was that early because the call time is 7am., (can you believe that?! ugh!). we were there like quarter to 7 or something? early huh? to think that i am one of those who never gets on time haha. well its nice to think that i am early for the first time in my last day in High School haha

Graduation., this is officially my Last Day as a High School student., come to think of it, there's much more sorrow than excitement and fulfillment! and i can see everyone's feeling the same way.,

but the truth is? i really cant feel anything at all! i mean, it was all an ordinary day, ordinary ceremony, ordinary graduation rights, only that im one of the graduates and i'm gonna be participating, not just watch (well actually that's all i did except for the part where i got my diploma on stage XD)

i wanted to cry, i want everybody to cry, coz like they said! High school only happens once and this will be the best part of your life that you'll have for the rest of your life (i don't really believe this, i mean, i can still have my family! and i think that's much more fulfilling to me) but its right, it may not be the best thing that would happen to me, but it will be the most enjoyable experience in my life. i mean, you don't get yourself childish in any ways in college right? you cant skip classes, have your permanent classroom best friend, or have your classroom chair vandalized with someones name right?

High School is high school. Yes, i have indeed enjoyed it so much, with my friends, my classmates, my teachers. and were not just ordinary High school students., we are arts students.

i am keeping myself focused in the fact that graduation means goodbye., when we were about to sing our graduation songs., they were all like "ok, eto na! iyakan na talaga!". we first sung the English one. it was not very touching and then the tagalog song., we were in the middle of the song and i can see a lot crying, i really wanted to cry but i just cant! i am concentrated on the tone more than controlling my feelings ugh! i cant cry! ahe

well its all over now., well we can still see each other especially the ones ill be joining in the same school with., its just that its never gonna be the same again

the people i had with for four years, the bonding we had, i only get to be friends with those i am close with, but for the others? i guess "HI"s and "HELLO"s is ok. but i believe this is not goodbye at all, they are not just people who passed through my life, they were a part of it. i WILL see them again

GRADUATION isn't GOODBYE., its just a temporary farewell

.jummeh :j

the black book

this post is very late haha., i should have posted this one last week but i was too busy counting memories hahaha


uhm., maebelle(one of my classmates) have this black book where in we have to fill it up with our answers of her questions (i didn't care if its required or whatever XD) so i did post my answers there., though some are very confidential i just thunk its ok for everyone to know coz we're graduating anyway, secrets will soon be nonesense to me(that what i think it was) except that im having doubts what Melvin(my hs crush ever XD) would think or react if he reads it. I still took the risks though ahe.


i forgot the questions really ahe(this is what i call 'post-it-before-you-forget') haha lol! but there are questions about HS crushes, and i did write there Mel's name. And its soo weird! I think he knows already what i was writing! Know why? He kept on walking around me while im Writing. and im thinking he's trying to see it! waa! and one time, i got soo ditructed with him, i left the chair and went in the near front chairs and guess what! he was still walking around me! This time, he's pretending he's waiting or looking outside the windows NEAR ME! it was soo obvious. Then i knew he was curius and he will insist on reading it for his curiosity ebr! ugh!


and then its someones turn until i lost my guarding eyes on the book for him not to see it. but i have to leave the room for my clearance., i was soo worried about something else so eventually i forgot everything about the book and Melvin reading it. the whole Ma'am Api-it drama happen at the same day that day. i was soo not myself when i went back to the room., and he's still there. the room's already locked. He's with Von holding the book. i was still not myself and then i calmed my self realizing its gonna be soo embarassing for him to read it


i was trying to get the book but they were too possesive with it. i didnt get it plus i made blytton(my friend)suspect! and yes! he knew Mel's name was there soo he like uhm tried to spill it.


hayy and after that i guess Mel knew already., i was like 'ui pls wag nyo basahin
yung akin!' and Mel was like 'ano naman mababasa sa sinulat ni jully?' with his sarcastic voice so uhm yah., i guess he knew already ahayyy






uhm the day before the class pouting, we went to te school to meet and buy stuffs needed., surprisingly, again! he was there! and the big news was Mel read what i wrote and they saw it!. they did not tell me what his reaction was but im sure im not going to like it :( i was really regreting what i wrote there., i did wrote everything i wanted to say! hayyy., i dont know., after i knew about that i was soo thinking about it and i went to my own conclusions.






we were friends before, and now that he knew the fact that i liked him more than he think i did only as a friend, i guess it wont be the same like what we were before. we were close and i liked that, and i swear i never took our friendship as an advantage, not at all. we were friends like what he thought we were. i like him, thats all. i know he wants someone else and i mean every bword i told him when i wanted him to like her more. we're just friends and i accepted that before i liked him pa. hayy., hard yes, truth is i just cant be as close as i was to him like before, from then on, its goona be a lot different between us. if there will be a 'between us' after that. i have decided not to see him or text him ever. and since we graduated already, i might not see him again ever. hahah no no! wrong term., i mean we will not be friends like we were before.(we're in the same school XD) yeah thats the end i guess hayy


next chapter? idontknow.,



.jummeh :(

i like black

waa., huhu, i tryd to color my hair with violet., and guess what happened!!! waaa i turned out to be one of those cheap salon gays with weird colors in their hair!!! waaa [no offense] ish tlga ebr! grr


i shud have listened to my mom


--why does it always have to end up that way?! ugh!











too much for bad hair day!--more like bad hair summer! ugh!






.jummeh :/

start of nothing new XD

yey., finally im starting this account na after how many years of extinction hahah jape

i have always been so contented with fs blogs., multiply blogs

now i finally have an official blog hahaha.,

hehe ok., ill be posting stuff here almost everyday so like uhm yah., excitment much? nope hahaha!

.jummeh.